Thursday, June 12, 2008

sacrifice


Being a military brat is tough. I am not going to sugar coat it. And I don't think I need too. Moving around a lot, new schools, new friends, fears about what their parent does for a living, dealing with deployments etc.

Because of some problems in the travel dept. Ben is not leaving until Sunday. Although we have been getting ready for him to go for a while now. Uniforms started coming out, uploading the kid's pictures on his ipod, buying needed items and all other sorts of prep. The kids really hadn't said anything about it. Until now.

Harmony has been crying at the drop of a hat. Literally. She has burst into tears at least 4 times today alone. She is now playing with some friends, and I hope that puts her in a better mood! Every little thing that doesn't work out perfectly for her, has just brought on a flood gate. My Mother's intuition tells me that she is upset about her Dad leaving. Not that Ethan keeps "stealing" Astro from her. But she is keeping her feelings inside.

Connor on the other hand has been letting me know EXACTLY how he feels...and it is breaking my heart. This is the conversation this morning,
C-" Mom, when exactly is Daddy leaving?"
M-" On Sunday."
C-starts crying, " I don't want him to go. I don't like it when he leaves."
M-" I know sweetie. I don't like it either. But you know what? He is not going to be gone very long this time."
C- " I know. Only 7 weeks. How many days are there in a week?"
M-" There are 7. So 7 weeks times 7 days equals 49. So your Dad is only going to be gone for like 50 days."
C- more tears" That is too long!"
M-" I know Connor. Do you know why Daddy has to go?" He shakes his head. " He is going to a country that doesn't have very much money. And he is going to help them build schools and other buildings, so that the kids can be as safe and as comfortable as you are. He is going so that he can help them. We need to share him with those people for a little while."
C- " I don't want to share him, he's my Daddy."

By this time, I stopped talking and just held him while he cried. Ben said, "this was so much easier when they were little. All I had to do then was kiss them goodbye."

Sacrifice and sharing are not easy sometimes.

5 comments:

Avis La Fin said...

This is such a heartbreaking blog, Marie. Your kids are so sweet and sensitive. We love you! Love, Dad and Mom

Momgunter said...

I echo Julia's comments. You have such a tough road to hoe. Aren't you happy that you have the Church and a loving Heavenly Father? Tell Ben of our great love for him and our hearts will be with your family while he's gone. Good luck. Uncle Garth and Aunt Joan

The Farr's said...

I was in tears as I read this. I feel so helpless and wish I had some wonderful advice to share with you. I hope Ben's deployment goes fast and safely! I love you!!

becky said...

That is so sad. I bet it is hard as a mom when you can't just make it better. At least you know that he is performing a great service. Not many people can say that about their traveling businessmen.

Thanks for sharing what you go through. You are so inspiring to me.

Mary said...

Oh, reading that makes my heart ache for your kids and you. I can't imagine having to say goodbye for so long so often. You are one tough mom with sweet kids.