Catching up...

I have been a blogging slacker. SLACKER. I am getting started on my Christmas cards and that usually includes a family letter. And that includes an update. And there is a LOT to update.

So this post, is an update, Christmas card style!

Harmony: This girl is busy from sun up to sun down. Band. Reading. Writing. Drawing. Hanging out with friends. She has had so many fun opportunities lately! Playing in the half time show at a UCLA game, going to the Disney studios to learn about art...and of course there are all the band competitions, football games, dances, hanging out with friends, movies, sleepovers...her schedule is tough to keep up with!

Ethan: is getting to be as busy as his sister. He too, is a band geek. With Ben & I having absolutely no musical abilities, we find this odd! I have loved to see him progress in his playing. He took up the baritone last year and has worked his way up, in a little over a year, from beginning band to advanced. He has totally shot up and now towers over me, which he loves to tease me about. He, has a lot of the same talents & interests as Harmony. Reading, writing, drawing & music.

After a year, Connor gave up on the band life! He decided to do something different and it is much more up his alley...yearbook! He has loved walking around the school with his "press pass", taking pictures and using the computer to design pages. He is a "techie" kid and loves anything to do with electronics. Of course he still loves Legos, and designs detailed bases. Mason considers Connor to be his personal slave, and Connor is too sweet to say no!

Ivan: This kid is...fun. He worked hard to prove that he could be safe while riding his bike to school. He has done a great job (even though it still scares me) and loves the freedom of riding back and forth. He has had his struggles at school but we have been working through them. He still loves Legos, pirates and playing video games. He had a rough Thanksgiving break, as his best friend moved. We all took it hard, and were sad to see them go!

Mason had an interesting start to kindergarten...a few of the boys decided to use their scissors to cut each others clothing, lunch bags, back packs etc. Mason ended up with a hole cut into his favorite hat, 2 shirts, and his backpack strap cut. Luckily the kids learned their lesson and we are no longer dealing with it! Mason is, just like his Dad and brothers, a Lego kid. He also loves playing at the park. He is learning to read & write and it is fun to see him learn & grow.

Ben & I are trying to keep up with the kiddos. It is hard to believe how time has passed & how the kids have grown and changed. Ben still travels quite a bit for work. We are currently waiting on our newest set of orders, which will most likely be in San Diego.

So there you have it. Our life in a nut shell.

The Waiting Place

You know the book "Oh the Places You'll Go"? It just happens to be one of Ivan's favorites.

Lately I have been feeling like I am in a waiting place.

We haven't left Guam, although life as we know it here is wrapping up fast! I filled in my calender for the next 3 weeks and it is filled with lasts. Last Cub scouts, last Girl Scouts, last Achievement Days, last beach trips, last days of school, going away parties and dinners...On and on. So we are just kind of "waiting" for this time to end.

But we are also waiting for our new life to start. One at "home" and one in CA. So we are just waiting for our itinerary. Waiting to pack our luggage.
Waiting to fly out.

I have been feeling a bit...well melancholy about it all. I am starting to feel very sad at the thought of leaving what has become our second family. But I am looking forward to seeing biological family. Such a mix of emotions.

3 weeks left in the "waiting place"

FYI

Even with all the craziness around here, I have been updating my home blog like crazy. It is a good outlet I guess! Anyway, if you didn't know I had one, you can check it out. I have a link at the top of this blog that says "Maries Homemaking blog". I am also having a giveaway for a fun cookbook, Pioneer Woman Cooks. So you can check that out here

Happy to be Home

( My kids are all so tall that they get put in the back row. So I always get pictures of just their heads! Annoying. This is before it began!)


(Ethan's teacher told them a story about a boy messing up during a concert, and his Mom posted the video on You Tube. Ethan made me promise I wouldn't do that!)

(after he was done)

Just looking at my calender for next week makes me want to cry!! It is jam packed. This season is such a busy & full time. We have gift exchanges, Christmas parties, field trips, Christmas concerts, GS, and more.

Yesterday I...
dropped Ivan off at school
Went to the commissary for a few things (it's never just a few is it?).
Recieved a phone call from the school nurse.
Scheduled a hearing/eye exam for Ivan.
Dropped Ethan's homework agenda off to him ( he left it on the couch)
Made it in time to watch his concert.
Meet with his teacher to get some paperwork.
Pick up Ivan
meet with his teacher about IEP's & assesments for him
dole out snacks
get home
walk Astro
get Mason down for a nap
bring in groceries
get Ivan some lunch
plant him in front of Tom & Jerry's Christmas Capers
breathe...

All before noon! Yep it was a long one. But as I was running around, I was hit by a wave of gratitude. I am so grateful that I can be an at home Mom. I can't imagine doing all that and trying to hold down a job also!

my rambling thoughts

So I am not sure this is where I want to post this. Sometimes, no offense loved ones, you just "don't want to hear it". You have your excuses and you don't want anybody else to bug you about it. LOL But once again, I have to remind myself that this is MY blog. MY place to write down MY thoughts. Whether you agree or not.

Now with that opening you all think I am going off the deep end right? Not quite...

Once again it is about my "weighty issue"

I KNOW that I need to take care of myself.
I KNOW that I need to be a good example to my family.
I KNOW that if I don't take care of myself, I will not be able to take care of my fam
I KNOW that I am at risk for like a zillion illnesses & health problems if I don't
I KNOW that I am not happy with the way that I look

For one month, I made very small (is giving up caffiene cold turkey small? Hmmm) changes. In one month I lost 4 lbs and 8 inches. Go me right?

Well this month, I think we may have sat down for a family meal twice. Seriously. The house has/is a disaster area. I am tired constantly (no caffeine = naps). I am grouchy. My grocery budget went through the roof. I am crazed. Life is...not necessarily better.

Right now, I am at a point when my kids still need me. My husband needs me. I want/need to be there for them 100%. I want my home to be warm and inviting. I want home cooked meals sitting on the table when Ben comes home from work. Am I old fashioned? Probably. But I am honestly good with that.

I am already thinking ahead to the fact that I do not want to look awful when I go to Ben's Christmas party or to our ball later in March.

I feel frustrated. I don't want to give up on myself BUT I don't want to do it to my family either.

Deep thoughts at 8:43 in the morning...

change

I have been having a hard time keeping up with my blogs.

I have been having a hard time keeping up with laundry.

I have been having a hard time keeping up with the dishes.

I have been very, very tired.

I have been making changes in my life. I know that once I am used to it, it will be a GOOD thing. I haven't quite made it there but I will.
I am giving up caffiene. Yep. I have made decisions regarding "my weighty issues" post. The first thing I decided to do is give it up. I have now gone 3 full days without any. I know it's not much, but it's a start.

There are other things that I am doing about my weight. But in a move that is completely unlike me, I am not going to share. The reason why? I am just not quite ready too.

So if you notice a lack of blogging, I am probably just taking a nap!

One day at a Time

The words "I hate Guam" were muttered (ok yelled a couple of times) a lot during this weekend. We have endured no water pressure, so many gnats we can't even count, maps that aren't labeled correctly...it goes on and on. Some people think that living on an island = paradise. Let me tell you, it's not true.

A lot of our friends moved away from Guam this summer. Almost all of them talked about the things that they would miss. After this weekend, I racked my brain but really couldn't come up with anything. It's sad I know. I will miss friends that we have made, but other than that...hmmm.

This morning, I got up to go walking. It was not quite 6am and the sun was coming up. The moon was shiny and bright, but the sky was pinks and oranges. The palm trees were swaying in the breeze, and I thought, "well this isn't so bad."

So I decided to take it one day at a time. Find one thing every day that I appreciate about this island. I am still counting down until the day we go home, but maybe I just have to adjust my attitude a little. So while I didn't have my camera with me on my walk, this is one of my favorites while I have been here.

Why God Made Moms

Mason has been crabby for about 12 hours now.
He is finally sleeping.
Ivan is screaming his head off because I won't let him watch The Simpsons movie.
I get to go to an IEP meeting for him in 1.5 hours. Oh joy.
I shelled out $56 dollars today for random school stuff.
I have volunteered to bake for the PTO.
I have volunteered to bake and get crafts ready for Ivan's class.
Harmony doesn't think I know whose agendas need signed, who needs money for recorders, who needs book logs filled out. However, I do.
Ethan's teacher sent home a "Additional School Supplies Needed" list. We haven't bought enough yet?

So today when my friend Heidi posted this...I knew I needed it. It made me laugh a lot and cry a little. Hormones. Oh hormones.


WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice..

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

How could I forget?

Having 2 blogs and being on facebook, I forget when and where I post certain things. I forget that not everyone reads my blog (!) or some people aren't on Facebook. So for those of you who haven't heard...

We got our officially unofficial orders. Why are they considered unofficial? Because they aren't on paper. And if they aren't on paper...they are easily changed. BUT the fact that Ben is allowing me to publicly announce it is saying a lot. Anyhoo...our next duty station is...PORT HUENEME, CA!

I am absolutely ecstatic to be going so close to home. We have not been within a day's drive of family (let alone 2 hours)since the last time we were stationed there! And at that time, Connor was only one!

I am already plotting & planning. Trips over holiday weekends,visiting CA friends, trips during spring break, holidays with family...ahh I can't wait.

Seriously everyone is going to get sick of us! I can't wait!

A weighty issue

Today is my "Guam birthday". Although I am not technically 31 yet...there is nothing like a birthday to make you stop and take notice of your life.

Last year as I entered my 30's I told myself this was it. It was my time to get healthy. Once and for all. I wanted to look in the mirror and liked what I saw. I wanted to run and play with the kids. I wanted Ben to think, "boy I am so lucky to be married to such a hottie", I wanted to be a good example to Harmony. A little less than 2 months later...pregnant.

I gained 15 lbs during my pregnancy. Although I seriously struggled with the gestational diabetes, my doctors were impressed that I had kept my weight gain so low. I was impressed because I wasn't doing anything to help it. Seriously.

On the 4th of July, I was dialated to a 3. I was tired, cranky, contracting constantly. But I wanted to have fun with the kids at the fireworks. I spent the night sitting in a chair. My back hurt. My legs were tired. I was tired. Ben would have to help me get out of the camp chair. Yes part of this was just being pregnant. But part of me kept thinking, " I hate this. I don't want to not be able to keep up with my kids."

At the end of every one of my pregnancies I feel huge. And it's funny because as soon as I have that baby, I feel super skinny!! Lol

Today I have been feeling:
1)hungry
2)tired
3)lazy
4)unproductive
5)grumpy with Ivan

My diet since Mason has been born is a lot of chocolate and diet coke. Diet of champions right? I spend so much time in the rocking chair that I feel lazy.

Although I don't feel healthy, all in all, I am very content with my life. I am happy with where we are. I just don't like looking in the mirror.

I am not sure what to do.

My roadblocks are:
my sweet tooth
putting myself last
Mason is very fussy at dinner and I often find myself not eating dinner until 10 pm, breakfast (if at all) at 11 and lunch around 2 or 3
I love cooking and baking but don't find making healthy stuff as fun
I have a grocery budget
I have lots of other people to cook for
I don't want to be hungry
My strengths:
I like to exercise..when I find the time
I am a morning person..so I like to get it done first thing
I have support from my family
I have a husband who loves me
I have kids who love me

So questions...
Do I follow a low fat diet and not worry about calories?
Do I count calories?
How much exercise do I do?
Can I drink Crystal Light instead of water?Does that count?
Should I follow a plan like weight watchers?
Should I do a South Beach diet and watch my carbs?
How do I balance healthy eating with what I feed my family?
How do I do it so we all eat one meal, not the kids eating one and me something else?
How do I get rid of my sweet tooth?

Questions, comments and help would be appreciated. I know a lot of my family and friends are very fit and healthy. Help a girl out, I want to be among your ranks!

Then again, should I just screw it all and wait until I am 41?

walking zombie

I have to say that for the most part, Mason is a pretty darn good sleeper. He will even sleep (sometimes) for a good 4-6 hours at a stretch. It makes those long nights a little more do-able.

Ben has been gone for a week. That is it. Last week seemed to drag but also went by fast. If that is possible. However, besides the fact that Mason is sleeping well, I find myself very tired and worn out. Maybe it is because...

**I am taking care of 5 kids by myself all day every day

** I am a slave to the couch/rocking chair during feeding times

** I don't have time to recharge my batteries.

Last week Harmony went to Girl Scout camp. Well Friday she was getting ready and I was putting her hair up. And then I felt her forehead. She was burning up. Fever of 101. OK no camp. That day she complained a little but not to much. Next morning she was running around feeling fine. Until we got home from the store...

She had started complaining and by the time we got home...whew boy watch out. Her fever was up to 102.5 She was hot and miserable. She spent the day in my bed. And the next. And the next. Then she decided to pass it to Ivan. He was hot, miserable and spent the day on the couch.

Then last night Mason decided that I only needed 5 hours of sleep. After yelling at the big kids all morning...I don't think they agree with him! But I have learned that you really do need sleep to function. How do I know?

**was so happy with myself that I got dinner in the crock pot. 6 hours later I started wondering why I wasn't smelling anything. It wasn't turned on.

**While in the kitchen, I also noticed the pkg of frozen Rhodes dough, rising in it's pkg on the counter

**I remembered to get the garbage out...twice

** went out to the car to get something...and realized I had already gotten it earlier

**and yesterday I let Astro out...and forgot about him. An hour later I sent the kids out to find him. Oops

What can I say? This Mom needs some sleep!

random

(There is a whole lotta this going on around here!)

(the cute little toothless wonder)

(How adorable is this kid? Thanks again for the outfit Beth!)

Here is a random list of what's going on in the Turner home...

**Connor lost his other top tooth! Too bad the tooth fairy forgot! I told him the tooth fairy was confused because Connor lost his tooth on Wed but it was on Guam. In the states it is still Wed. So I am sure she will be coming tonight!!

**Harmony is having a blast at camp! She has made lots of friends, is Liesel in the Sound of Music, wrote a script for a skit they are doing, and is having a fabulous time. I am so happy to see her come out of her shell! It just makes my heart happy.

** The boys have named our house/van etc as the "boys club"!

**They are also pretending to be characters on movies and tv shows. In the car, they were watching Tom & Jerry. So they "called" the character that they want to be. It is cute but annoying when they fight over who gets what character.

** A long time ago, I participated in a lot of homemaking meme's. I kept putting them on this blog but I didn't want my followers to have to read them if they didn't want too. I created another blog as a place to put them. Well after I got preggo, I stopped updating it! Too much work. Now that I am back in the swing of things, I have started updating again. If you want to read it the site is here

**Mason does what Mason does best. Eats, sleeps, poops. But oh how cute is that little boy! The kids and I can't keep our hands off! :)

**Oh and the bugs are gnats. They are attracted to water and light. So with it being the rainy season here, we just have to wait it out. The pest control guy told me that we don't have as much as other people. Gross. So I just get to sweep up bugs 10 times a day. OH joy!

And that is it! You are updated!

pity party

(Just imagine this...all over our house. Blech!)


(It's kind of hard to see because our door is black but it is covered!)

There is a phenomenon that occurs every time Ben is gone. Actually, I believe it is a military wife thing. Once your husband deploys. And what is that phenomenon? Everything goes wrong. Seriously. I have had some nightmare situations in the past. Last summer was a whopper...Ivan's diagnosis, tv problems, van problems, vacums dying, Astro leaving his messes all over...You get the idea.

Ben has only been gone for 6 hours and I get to deal with the situation in the above pictures. Can you tell what it is? Bugs. Bugs everywhere. Last night they started appearing. We thought it was because of a window left open. When we got up to go to the airport...there were tons. It grosses me out like nothing else. They are everywhere. I called housing and they can't get anyone out until tomorrow. Ewww.

Connor keeps saying we have a bug "infection". I am letting myself have today to whine and pout and than the pity party is over. I promise. I just wonder what all can happen in 2.5 weeks...

Back to reality...

This morning, Ben went back to work...after dropping my Mom off at the airport. I am officially on my own! No one to take Mason at 3:30 in the morning so I can go back to bed. No one to keep the big kids while I go run errands. No one to help me keep Ivan in check. No one to have an adult conversation with in the middle of the day. Sigh...Mom you will be missed! Thanks for taking 5 weeks out of your life to come and help me with mine. I honestly have no clue what I would have done without you here!

So now it is just me. The 3 older kids are playing Legos. Ivan is watching Alvin and the Chipmunks and Mason has crashed. I am starting to wonder how well I can handle this. Why is that you worry about that AFTER the baby is here? I guess it is back to reality...my new reality. Stay at home mom of 5...

Welcome Home Mason!

The house is quiet. Everyone is asleep or on a quiet time. So I thought I would update while I have the chance!

Tuesday afternoon I went in for an appt. with my doctor. These have been going on for the last few weeks. I had been on a monitor for a non-stress test. One of the doctors, came to check it and said, "how would you like to have your baby today?" I was shocked but said yes. He then said, "well than you need to have some more contractions." He laughed, I rolled my eyes and was sent on my way, very unhappy.

Friday same thing. A little change in my cervix and than I went to go get on the monitor. A different doctor (the one I see most often) came in and said, "how would you like to have your baby today?" Everbody is a comedian right? No, not this time. He said that my pockets of fluid looked a little low, Mason wasn't responding on the monitor and that basically my body was ready to go and that I wouldn't do Mason any good by staying pregnant.

So I called Ben and told him to meet me in the mother/baby unit. I got in about 10, and they started IV's. I am notorious for "not having veins".I got poked 3 times before they actually got it! Grrr. I hate getting IV's! My water was broken about noon. I had told everyone that I wanted an epidural so my nurse said to let them know when I was ready for it. Well I go through a battle of "I don't want to be a wimp and get it early but I don't need to be a hero either". Finally I got it.

I still was feeling contractions in my back though. My legs were numb but nothing else. The nurse decided to check me again. Apparently she gave the anethesiologist a look and went to get the doctor. Ben told me about "the look" later. According to her, it wasn't that the epidural didn't work, it was that Mason was on his way out! My nurse was praying I didn't sneeze while she got the doctor. :)

A little later, there was Mason. He was a healthy 8lbs 2 oz. The consensus is that he looks like Ethan. Although Connor was very excited to see that Mason has blue eyes, just like him. We will see if he keeps them!

Mason and I stayed an extra day in the hospital, since he was born before 37 weeks. Uhm yeah, one day before 37 weeks. We spent an exciting day in the hospital watching tv and snuggling.

He is doing well but he does have a case of jaundice. We are hoping to see the sun peak out a little this rainy season so that he can use it.

Other than that, we are just trying to adjust to life and to take it easy. I have pics posted on facebook and my Mom also has a few on her blog (hers is Avis La Fin which you can find a link on my side).

Oh and we also celebrated 4th of July so I thought I would add a couple of those pictures in!

Economics 101

(photo from stock photo's site)
I was laughing as my friend Beth shared a story about her son. His shoe had a hole in it, and he insisted that he didn't need a whole new pair, just one shoe. I thought it was cute, that someone so young had a sense of being frugal. I also wondered if my kids do...

Being military, being overseas, we have honestly not been that affected by the economy. We have noticed gas prices rise, the cost of groceries steadily rising but...it ends there. We are lucky, I know that. However just because we are "safe" from what is going on, it doesn't mean that we should just throw our $$ away right?

Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of taking all 4 of my kids to the commissary. I let them know the rules before we even went in. I must say, they did pretty well on the "not running in the aisles", "let people pass you, don't hurry to get by them", etc. The whole "don't ask Mommy for anything, if she wants to get you something she will" rule was the one that didn't quite take.

In my cart went, mini oreo's, ice cream, 3 boxes of cereal, yogurt for Ben, yogurt for Harmony, yogurt for the big boys and Dora yogurt for Ivan, spaghetti o's, frozen pizzas etc. I forgot how much junk we buy when we are all together.

Last night I poured out juice with dinner. I came into find the jug of apple juice almost completely gone. The three older kids had helped themselves to seconds. Filling the cups until almost completely full. Connor, after pouring, changed his mind and decided to just dump it out. AGHH! I caught him before he did though.

This morning I find Ethan chowing down 2 yogurts out of the 6 pack. AFTER I told him he could only have one. I pointed out that we had cereal, bagels, bananas, etc that would fill him up.

I can't believe how much money we have wasted on food, just by having them at home. They are in for a wake up call. I am getting tired of them wasting food & money...just because they can!

Is anyone else going through this? Ugh so annoying!

Energy...where are you?

With Mason's arrival rapidly approaching I find myself with a mile long to do list. Things that "need" to be done. Things I "want" to get done. And things that would probably fall more under a nesting category than anything else. However, my energy seems to be depleting. Today we worked for a couple of hours on unpacking. I also did a couple loads of dishes, made meals etc. But I was spent! Then a family trip to the store...yikes. I wasn't sure I was getting up from the couch. Why is it that something that gives you such a wonderful blessing, can make you so miserable? I am ready for this pregnancy to be done...as long as he is healthy of course!

Baptism

(the two tired, emotional Moms, when did our babies grow up?)

(family picture, do you just love Ivan's face?)

(Ethan with the Branch Pres. and yes, Ethan is almost the same height!)

(Big smiles...Harmony was giving me bunny ears)

(Ethan and Kaetlyn watching the font fill up)

Here in Guam ( or at least in our branch) kids are baptized the first Saturday of the month. Ethan's birthday fell on a Tuesday and so had to wait until June. Knowing this, I kind of put it off. In my mind I knew the day, but really didn't do any prep. Later I was talking to a friend of mine (in the commissary of course!) and realized that our kids would be having theirs together.

Fast forward until 2 weeks ago. I was released as 1st counselor and so how did I spend my Sunday? Chit chatting during class. I know I am awful. But we were trying to hammer out all the details for the baptism...amongst other topics!

Because of how much I had going on that week, Tammy offered to make the food and print off a program. I was grateful to her for being willing to do everything, but it also came with a huge old helping of Mommy guilt!

As the week progressed and life got crazier by the minute, my gratitude level kept going up. I felt a little more relaxed knowing I wouldn't have any last minute food to prepare or anything else.

The day came and the kids were up at 5:15. They ran around and were going nuts until everyone else in the house was awake. Since this was also the day of the big move, I told them that, "since you want to be together so much, you can do it while packing boxes" I put them to work. I yelled, threw tantrums, complained, whined etc. etc.

I looked at Ethan helping pack and felt...AWFUL. My priorities on his big day were so out of whack it wasn't even funny. I started crying and tried to get myself in the right frame of mind. Still a struggle but I felt better.

The baptism was beautiful and although I was stressed out, I was able to feel the spirit. I *think* I was able to show & tell Ethan how much it meant to me.

Tammy did a great job with the food and the program and then...she sent us home with all the leftovers so we could have something to munch on during the day. She asked me if I wanted her to take Ethan's baptismal clothes home and wash them and I said no. I need to do something for Ethan's baptism. Ben was standing behind me and said, "...uhm when are you going to be back down here to drop them off?" I was like I don't know but I will take care of it. But now it was Tammy and her husband giving me a hard time about accepting service. She made me cry when she said, " you serve tirelessly in this branch. Let us serve you for once."

It was a long day but I was overwhelmed with emotion. Gratitude, humility, and more. I don't have the gene that makes it easy to accept help. So this was not easy for me. I still have Mommy guilt but I think that after buying Ethan a "Congratulations on your baptism" cake from Cold Stone, I am on his good side again! Although I don't think he noticed that Mom didn't do anything...

Whew...what a week!

(My sweet boy! More baptism pictures to come!)

(Ethan and Dad before)

(Ben getting a thank you from the coach for helping)

(Ethan with his coach)

(Connor with his coach)

(team huddle)

(brother love)

(Ethan's certificate)

( We love Ms. Gonzalez!)

(Connor with his certtificate)

I am not controlling. I just like things the way that I like them. And who doesn't, right? This is what I tell Ben all of the time. Well I can tell you that I would have not survived this week, had I not let go of some things. Seriously. I did things that I hardly ever do...asked for help, not been so anal about what the kids were doing, and a lot more. This week I have been accepting help hand over foot. It has been liberating and, dare I say, a little scary? But enough about me, here is the rundown of the week...

Monday was Harmony's last night of GS with this troop/leader. I thought she would be a little sad but she didn't seem to be!She has had so much fun being with them! Her best friend from GS moved a couple of weeks ago and I know it hasn't been the same since.

Tuesday I dropped Ivan off at school, and headed to the cafeteria for Connor's award assembly. They always sing cute little songs and than get their awards. He wanted to come home with me "since he had already been at school for a long time"...it was only 9:30 so I said no. I hurried home to do a few things, came and picked up Ivan, back home for a little bit, and than came back to the school for Ethan's assembly. Ben was able to come so that was nice. I had everyone ride home with me, instead of the bus and the boys told me they were so happy they didn't have to rush off to baseball!

Wednesday was long and tiring. Ben and Ivan came up here to get keys and do a walk through. I went to a dr. appt. and than met them up here. Ben unloaded cars, and I unloaded boxes. Don't worry, he didn't let me carry anything! We did this three times. We were so exaughsted when we got back but couldn't sleep at all. No fun. We were surprised with dinner that night and I was so grateful. Eating out every meal is over rated!

Thursday was more packing and moving. We were both exaughsted though and so only got in two trips instead of three. That night we had baseball awards. The boy's got trophies (Connor's broke before we left) and caricatures. The kids loved them and were excited to put them up in their rooms. The guy was paid by the hour so Harm got one too.

Friday was another long day of moving and packing. I waited around for the cable guy to come so I did get somewhat of a break. Harmony had her assembly this day and we decided it would be best to let Ben go while I stayed. She was very proud because she got 7 awards. She also loved singing "Proud to be an American" which is one of my favorites!

Saturday was...a roller coaster. After a late night, we were all up early.I thought the kids would sleep in...boy was I wrong. They were up at 5:15 and running around screaming their heads off. I told them since they wanted to be together so badly, they could all clean up. And they did. We worked to get more things packed up. I was grumpy and that put me in the wrong frame of mind for the next event of the day...Ethan's baptism. I am going to post about this seperatley though! Had it not been for my friend Tammy, whose daughter was also being baptized that day, I don't know what I would have done. Seriously. After the baptism, we all changed clothes and let the process begin again. This time with lots of help! By 5 I was looking at the clock because Harmony had to be at her GS awards assembly. I tried bribing her so we wouldn't have to go but she wouldn't take the deal!! Talk about letting things go...Harmony wore a t-shirt and shorts. What was she supposed to wear? Either a nice dress with her sash or her GS uniform. Didn't happen. I was supposed to bring a main dish. I didn't. And you know what? There was plenty of food, and lots of leftovers. I did forget my camera but one of the Mom's is emailing me pictures that she took of Harmony. Hooray for digital!

Sunday was spent cleaning, unpacking and all that fun stuff. Today is the last full day of school for the kids. My last day of washing uniforms and making lunches( ok not really but bagged lunches!)for the summer. We are all ready for a break! Goodbye to school year 08/09, it has been a long and tiring one!

diabetes frustration

Have you ever felt perfectly fine, and than you go to the doctor and they tell you otherwise? That is how I am feeling. I went in on Tuesday and was told that my blood sugar journal was "highlighted all over the place". Meaning I had a lot of high ones. So I was put on an insulin pill. Well can I just tell you that the past couple of days have been awful? I mean awful.I have done my best, and tried really hard. But my blood sugars have been between 72 (that is low for a "normal" person) all the way up to 176!I have been nauseas, completely shakey, and just feeling awful. I felt better when I was doing nothing! I go back in on Tuesday and I am going to have a talk with the doctor. This has been awful!!