He's BACK!

(I stole this picture off of the NMCB3 Facebook page. Not sure who took it to give them credit but...this is the convoy headed back to base)

I wish  I could say that Ben was back, safe and sound in my arms but...that is going to have to wait. He is, however, back at the main base. More importantly, he has internet!

It was a really hard month  not being able to  hear from him, and I really can't imagine what it was like for military wives before email, facebook...not sure I could have handled it back then!

which one....

is not like the other?

Freedom Rocks

Can I tell you how much I really do love this land? I love the freedoms that I enjoy, simply because I was born in the US. I love spending the 4th of July surrounded my members of the military. Laying their life on the line every day, to preserve those freedoms. Doing what they do because of a sense of patriotism and duty.My thoughts drifted to my soldier. Far away from us. Far away from the main land. Trying to help a country that is in desperate need of our help. And he goes. Because of a sense of duty and country. Because he wants those children to have the same kind of life that his kids have. Even though our country is suffering with the economy, with natural disasters and more, I am proud. I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be a Navy wife. I am proud to be numbered with the military community. Happy Fourth of July everyone!

one for the record books...

Sometime soon, I am going to wake up from the nightmare that has been this deployment. I am, I know it. I am going to wake up and my old vacum will be running fine. I will have not had power outtages and water outtages. My son will not have autism. Life will go back to normal. I just need to be pinched.

I was having a pity party before, and now I would like to inform you on the latest of deployment problems. Our tv has gone the way of the dodo. It started out with a big black box covering the bottom of the screen. Now it has moved onto none of the buttons working. We can't turn it off or on, turn it up or down, or change the channel except through the cable box. We have to unplug it to turn it off. So I get to go and pick out a new tv today. And hope that my neighbor will be willing to set it up for me...and carry it in the house...

And speaking of neighbors, a different one is going to come and jump my battery. As we were headed out to the fireworks last night...the van wouldn't start. For the second time in just a couple of weeks. So I will probably be going to get a new battery also. Someone shoot me now. Seriously.

This is going down as the worst deployment yet.

the hardest part

The hardest part of a deployment for me is the lonely nights. Right now it is 9:21 on Thursday night. If Ben were here, this would be the time for talking, eating snacks we don't want to share with the kids, cuddling, and just being together. But here I sit. All alone. Nothing to keep me company but my laptop. I am seriously missing him tonight. Unfortunatley, I haven't been able to talk to him for 2 days. I know, I know it doesn't seem like that long. But it feels long.

Only 21 more days to go...

without fail...

For the love!! There is this phenomenon that occurs when your hubs deploys. Something always goes wrong.Seriously. When Ben left to go clean up Hurricane Ivan, I had car problems,that I had to deal with. When he went to Afghanistan, the kids locked themselves in a room, his truck was towed, had to have a tire changed, termites, almost got charged for the lawn not being mowed. When Ben went to California, we had just sold his truck and I had to frantically get a hold of him to get a paper signed, a problem with the dishwasher, and something else that escapes me at this moment. This doesn't just happen to me. I know many, many, wives who have dealt with this phenomenon. So what is the newest...my van is dead. Won't start. I need to go get a few things, sign a contract for my scrapbook classes, drop off orders and...I have no car. Huge Sigh.

worth it?

I am not so sure!

a Ben update

Whew! Almost one week down. When Ben was in Afghanistan, we were able to IM with each other every single night for an hour. His hotel in Timor, does not have a phone or internet. His local cell phone is at least a dollar a minute to call here. So the only time I get to IM with him is if he is at work. It makes it frustrating but I will take what I can get!!! I can't imagine dealing with deployments back before all of this wonderful technology that we have!!

One of the projects that Ben is helping with is a school. He said that all the kids looked at him like he was Godzilla or something. All of the people there are short, so to see someone as tall as him was a shock. They are also working on a community center.

Other things I have learned while he has been gone are, East Timor supplies 40% of all the coffee that Starbucks uses, all the "American snacks" are about $3-4 dollars more so he is sticking with Indonesian snacks. A pint of Ben & Jerry's was $17! Yikes. The restaraunts offer a lot of Australian food and that they serve rice and french fries with everything. He has been eating a lot of seafood. There are apparently no driving laws over there and so he is hoping to make it home without getting in a car wreck. He is trying to get used to driving on the other side of the street. He described Timor as being a cross between Guam and Afghanistan. Although he said that compared to Timor, Guam is like Beverly Hills. That's kind of a scary thought!

I am enclosing some pictures that he sent. The one with all the statues was taken on his 12 hour stop in Bali. The rest are views from his hotel.

sacrifice

Being a military brat is tough. I am not going to sugar coat it. And I don't think I need too. Moving around a lot, new schools, new friends, fears about what their parent does for a living, dealing with deployments etc.

Because of some problems in the travel dept. Ben is not leaving until Sunday. Although we have been getting ready for him to go for a while now. Uniforms started coming out, uploading the kid's pictures on his ipod, buying needed items and all other sorts of prep. The kids really hadn't said anything about it. Until now.

Harmony has been crying at the drop of a hat. Literally. She has burst into tears at least 4 times today alone. She is now playing with some friends, and I hope that puts her in a better mood! Every little thing that doesn't work out perfectly for her, has just brought on a flood gate. My Mother's intuition tells me that she is upset about her Dad leaving. Not that Ethan keeps "stealing" Astro from her. But she is keeping her feelings inside.

Connor on the other hand has been letting me know EXACTLY how he feels...and it is breaking my heart. This is the conversation this morning,
C-" Mom, when exactly is Daddy leaving?"
M-" On Sunday."
C-starts crying, " I don't want him to go. I don't like it when he leaves."
M-" I know sweetie. I don't like it either. But you know what? He is not going to be gone very long this time."
C- " I know. Only 7 weeks. How many days are there in a week?"
M-" There are 7. So 7 weeks times 7 days equals 49. So your Dad is only going to be gone for like 50 days."
C- more tears" That is too long!"
M-" I know Connor. Do you know why Daddy has to go?" He shakes his head. " He is going to a country that doesn't have very much money. And he is going to help them build schools and other buildings, so that the kids can be as safe and as comfortable as you are. He is going so that he can help them. We need to share him with those people for a little while."
C- " I don't want to share him, he's my Daddy."

By this time, I stopped talking and just held him while he cried. Ben said, "this was so much easier when they were little. All I had to do then was kiss them goodbye."

Sacrifice and sharing are not easy sometimes.