Newness

(This picture has nothing to do with anything on this post. I just didn't want to leave it picture-less!)

The only thing we can count on is change right? Or is it death and taxes?

So where should I begin?

This summer, with hospital visits, Mason's birth, Ben being out of town... our church attendance has been less than stellar. And when you miss one week (or 2 or 3...)you miss out on a lot! We found out on Sunday that our branch is splitting. We will now be members of a brand new branch! Part of the new Dededo branch. So that means a new building, a new primary, a new sunbeam teacher for Ivan to get used too (so not looking forward to that) new people...This next Sunday will mark our last Sunday in the Barrigada branch.

I took the kids to new student orientation. A new school. Their school is kind of like a college campus. I am guaranteed to get lost a couple of hundred times. So we have a new school,new routines, new teachers, new bus routes, new school supplies.

We weren't exactly sure what Ivan would be doing this year. We are not sure if he is still labeled as "mild autistic" or just developmentally delayed. But because of his age, he is able to attend pre-k full time! Not just a couple of days like last year!He will still be getting services as needed. He will have an aid who is in his class full time. We are excited that he will be attending school 5 days a week! Ivan does not do well with change but I know he is going to love being at school more.

Ben is almost done with turn over and will finally be up closer to us! He spent last week down on the Navy base. This week he is back and forth. I can't wait for his commute time to go from 45 minutes to 5!

As I put the kids into their new school, it really hit me. We only have 9 months left on Guam!! (The kids and I are leaving earlier than Ben). And then we will be on to more new-ness.

Looking forward to all the changes and what life will bring us next!

Baptism

(the two tired, emotional Moms, when did our babies grow up?)

(family picture, do you just love Ivan's face?)

(Ethan with the Branch Pres. and yes, Ethan is almost the same height!)

(Big smiles...Harmony was giving me bunny ears)

(Ethan and Kaetlyn watching the font fill up)

Here in Guam ( or at least in our branch) kids are baptized the first Saturday of the month. Ethan's birthday fell on a Tuesday and so had to wait until June. Knowing this, I kind of put it off. In my mind I knew the day, but really didn't do any prep. Later I was talking to a friend of mine (in the commissary of course!) and realized that our kids would be having theirs together.

Fast forward until 2 weeks ago. I was released as 1st counselor and so how did I spend my Sunday? Chit chatting during class. I know I am awful. But we were trying to hammer out all the details for the baptism...amongst other topics!

Because of how much I had going on that week, Tammy offered to make the food and print off a program. I was grateful to her for being willing to do everything, but it also came with a huge old helping of Mommy guilt!

As the week progressed and life got crazier by the minute, my gratitude level kept going up. I felt a little more relaxed knowing I wouldn't have any last minute food to prepare or anything else.

The day came and the kids were up at 5:15. They ran around and were going nuts until everyone else in the house was awake. Since this was also the day of the big move, I told them that, "since you want to be together so much, you can do it while packing boxes" I put them to work. I yelled, threw tantrums, complained, whined etc. etc.

I looked at Ethan helping pack and felt...AWFUL. My priorities on his big day were so out of whack it wasn't even funny. I started crying and tried to get myself in the right frame of mind. Still a struggle but I felt better.

The baptism was beautiful and although I was stressed out, I was able to feel the spirit. I *think* I was able to show & tell Ethan how much it meant to me.

Tammy did a great job with the food and the program and then...she sent us home with all the leftovers so we could have something to munch on during the day. She asked me if I wanted her to take Ethan's baptismal clothes home and wash them and I said no. I need to do something for Ethan's baptism. Ben was standing behind me and said, "...uhm when are you going to be back down here to drop them off?" I was like I don't know but I will take care of it. But now it was Tammy and her husband giving me a hard time about accepting service. She made me cry when she said, " you serve tirelessly in this branch. Let us serve you for once."

It was a long day but I was overwhelmed with emotion. Gratitude, humility, and more. I don't have the gene that makes it easy to accept help. So this was not easy for me. I still have Mommy guilt but I think that after buying Ethan a "Congratulations on your baptism" cake from Cold Stone, I am on his good side again! Although I don't think he noticed that Mom didn't do anything...

Guilt trip

Ben is trying to make me feel guilty. It is 9:09 on Sunday morning, and I am sitting in front of the computer in my pj's. I am not attending church today. You heard me. I am not.And know matter how guilty Ben tries to make me feel, the fact is that I am EXAUSGHTED. Let me run through my day with you yesterday...

6:30 get up, take shower get ready for the day

7:00(ish) eat breakfast
7:01(ish) get so nauseaus that I go lay down until 8
8:30 hurry down to rec-n-crew to pick up a bounce house for the primary party
bring that up to the church, but no one was there yet
*Go home for a little bit and kids ready
*Go up to the church by myself to drop off bounce house
*Go back down and pick up my kids and head back up to the church
*stay at the church and try to help as much as I can
*around 10:30 Ben and I go pick up 40 containers of cotton candy from Party World
*Go back to the church and help out as much as we can
*Eat pizza Hut for lunch and feel like it is all going to come back up
*sit on the sidelines of said party until almost the very end
*pack up the kids and bring them home
*go back up to the church to get bounce house
*smash your head on the inside of the van, cutting the top of your head with sunglasses, do not say a bad word because you are at church
*go to a very packed NEX to buy nylons and get cash back to pay for bouncy house
*go back to rec-n-crew to pay for bounce house and drop it off
*hurry home ( by now it is 3:30ish)
*try to help Ben find his belt
*get ready for the Christmas party
*about 5:20 (20 minutes late) get the kids in the car
*drive out to our friends house and drop kids off
*get to wardroom Christmas party around 6:30 ( feet are killing me)
* stay and eat, almost throwing up dinner, suck down a lot of water ( which water was not on tap, however beer was)
* Ben wins me a gift card, woo hoo
* At around 9:30 when way to many drinks had been served by then, we check out
* Ben takes me to Wendy's for a frosty...and a jr. bacon cheeseburger
*get home, and try to relax
*11 still awake watching Chronicles of Narnia (even though yes I have seen it)
* wake up at 3, 4, 6 to go to the bathroom
*8 am "Marie you need to get up so that someone is downstairs when the kids get dropped off "( note the someone did not include him)

So that is why I am going to take this day off. No guilt trip required!

a day of rest?

At the risk of sounding like an apostate, I am going to share my thoughts with you on this Sunday morning. I have been a member of the church my whole life. I have a testimony of the church. A strong one. However lately, I have not felt very motivated to go to church. In an effort to explain why, I would like to take you with me on an average Sunday morning at the Turner home....

Before church:
"Time to get up guys!"
" I don't want to go! Church is soooo boring!"
"Can I bring just one lego?"
"I can't find my church shoes!"
"I'm not hungry for breakfast, I'll just eat a snack at church."
"Kids, if there is a coloring book that you would like to bring, you need to put it in the church bag right now!"
"Harm brush out your hair."
"Have you looked for your shoes under the bed? In the closet?"
"Mom is this good enough?" "No you still have a million knots in there."
"Can I just wear my crocs?"
"No find your church sandals!"
"Mom can I bring cheetos and oreos for a snack today?" "No, are you insane?"
"Harm brush out your hair! You missed the entire back!"
"Can I please just wear flip flops?" " Fine just put on whatever shoes you can find!"
"Forget it Harm, I am going to do it." "Ow Mom that hurts. You are so mean. When I am a Mom I am not going to brush my daughters hair that hard!""yes you will, that's exactly what I told my Mom when I was your age."

Out the door...
"I forgot my scripture bag!"
" I never ate breakfast! I am starrrrrrving!"
"It's no fair, how come I always have to sit in the back of the van?"
"How come we can't watch a movie on the way to church?" "Because we live 2 minutes away." "What if it is a church movie?" " Like what?" "Well Scooby Doo is kind of a church movie." "How?" " Well they try to help people." "No".
"Well can we at least listen to our cds and not church music?" "NO".
"Connor snuck legos!"

Arriving at church...
Ben, " Why are you guys late?"
Me-glare

In the chapel...
" I don't want to sit by him!"
" I didn't want this coloring book!"
"Is this all we have for a snack?"
"Only take one piece of bread! I said one!"
"Ivan you are not allowed to be under the bench!"
"I want Daddy!"
" He wants my markers and I don't want to share!"
"How come I never get the big sticker book?"
"No you may not go get a drink, I told you to do that before we came in." "But we were late so you said to hurry up!"
" Don't dump out the gold...fish. OK pick them up. Try not to...scrunch them into the carpet."
Ben-" we really need to start bringing a mini vacum." Glare
"I am bored!"
"This prayer takes toooo long."
"Is it time to go yet?"
"I want Daddy","Marie, I can't take him I have to go and count." Glare
"You just have to sit through the last song and than a prayer and than you can go to primary."
"Pick up all your stuff...never mind I will do it just go!"

During the last two hours...
I make sure Ivan is in nursery, do they need any help?
Go to primary. Does anyone need copies? Do we have enough teachers?
"Could you go check on nursery?"
"You guys need to be quiet, we are still at church."
I make sure my three are somewhat behaving and help to keep the other kids in primary be quiet also.
"have you done your visiting teaching yet?" "Uhm...well no but I have good reasons!"

On the way home...
"I had to sit in the back on the way here!"
" Guess what_____________ did in primary?"
" Our teacher gave us a treat, ha ha you didn't get one"
"Why can't I ride with Daddy?" "Because he isn't coming home yet. He has to do tithing."
" Church is so boring."
" I forgot my scriptures!"
"Sister________ said you looked tired today."

After church....
Take a tylenol, a diet coke and a 2 hour nap

Do you see why I am lacking in motivation to get up and go to church? It is not a day of rest. Trust me. I do not feel like I am getting any new oil in my lamp. I don't listen to lessons that were planned for people over the age of 6. I don't sing a lot of hymns ( although I do love primary music). I don't read scriptures or say prayers. I don't sit next to women my age and get to talk about what is going on. We are too busy telling kids to "shhhh". Am I the only one who feels this way? I can't possibly. But how do I get it back? I have been in primary/nursery for almost my whole married life. I love the women that I work with. I like being with the kids. I just wish for well some oil to be put back into my lamp...

Primary PARTAY

The week leading up to Ben's return was a busy one. Which is good because the times goes by that much faster. One of the things the kids did was go to the primary party.It was so hot and humid that day. However, I don't really think the kids noticed! They had a ton of fun playing games, making puppets,going down the slide and playing in bounce houses, bobbing for apples and getting their faces painted. There was lots of food and it was fun to sit around and talk with the other ladies in our branch/who are in primary. Good times. By the end of the day, they were all covered in mud and exaughsted. They ate dinner and were in bed shortly after. It was fun. Hot but fun! Apparently I didn't take too many photos of Ethan though!

**For all who have asked, Ben is home safe and sound. Trying to get used to driving on the right side of the road!