It's over...

The magic is over. This morning, Harmony and I were talking about a gift that we had bought for a birthday party. She really likes it and I was teasing her, asking if she was going to give it to her or keep it for herself. She replied with, " well I can always ask for one at Christmas." I told her yes that was true. Then she asked me that question, that one question that parents don't want to answer ( ok so there are actually a few of those but...)
"Mom, all the kids at school say there isn't a Santa. Is there?" I asked her what she thought and she replied very honestly, " I know that there isn't an Easter Bunny. So I am not sure if I think there is or not." After a little conversation, she asked me if I would please just tell her the truth. I did it. Although I told her that there was nothing wrong with believing in the magic of Christmas. I tried explaining to her how Santa even came about. She seemed to understand. Then...tears. Not crying but a few little tears. Innocence was lost and I immediatley regretted telling her. Why didn't I just make something up? Grrr...But then she looked at me and said, " don't worry Mom, I won't tell the boys." She has decided that being Santa's helper will have some perks. So that was it. She is fine with it. I am not sure if I am. This picture was taken last year when they were dumping reindeer food, to help guide the reindeer to our house. Last year, she still went to bed early so Santa could come faster. Last year, she whispered what she wanted to Santa. Just last year. Now all of a sudden that magic is over. I know I still have 3 more boys to go through but I don't know...Something about being the first one. I am sure she will still eagerly participate in decorating cookies, making reindeer food and everything else. It is just the first year that she is "in the know." My heart is breaking a little more with each milestone. My little baby isn't so little anymore and it makes me sad.