Sunday, August 31, 2008
In dealing with Ivan's autism/situation/diagnosis whatever you want to call it, there are things I expected to deal with. I knew we would have mountains to climb, but I also knew there would be valley's. With all the frustrations and upsets, that Ivan would have his good days, and he would learn and grow. But when I was reading in all the books, websites etc, there was one thing I didn't think about. I was so focused on Ivan...that I forgot how it affects my OTHER kids.
Harmony, being a typical oldest child, can be pretty bossy. Well last night, the kids had put a huge bucket of legos on my bed and were busy playing. I told them all the legos had to be picked up before bed and I wouldn't help. So they had finished, when Ivan came in, and dumped them out. Harmony was screaming. "I am so tired of him doing things like that." I asked them to please re-pick them up, and I had Ivan help pick up toys downstairs and tried to keep him away from them. Then he went in and got into her polly pockets. " Can't we just put Ivan outside like we do to Astro?" she asked.
I went in and talked to her. Talked to her about how special Ivan is. How he doesn't understand things the way she does. That his thought process is not like hers. I tried to explain to her, and she agreed that it would be difficult to try to get through life like he does. I told her that Heavenly Father sent Ivan to us, because we are the right family to make him feel loved and take care of him." I just wish we could get a break from him. It's not fair. It's like everything we do is focused on Ivan, Ivan, Ivan. Ethan and Connor and I have to do everything. It's not fair." And I told her no it isn't fair. I tried to put myself in her shoes and really listen to what she was saying. I promised that I would try. I would try to get them time away, but the fact is that we are a family. We stick together.
I don't know what to do. I have a hard enough time dealing with Ivan, let alone everything else that goes along with it.