2/24/06

I haven't written for almost a week. Oops! This has been yet another busy week. With farewell parties, another birthday party, sick kids and everything else. I am glad that we do stay so busy. Life moves so fast though! I know it is cliche but I just find that the kids are growing so fast and it is hard to keep up with them!

Yesterday I had a frustrating experience with Ethan. I am not sure if it is just my boys or all boys in general...Yesterday when we left for school it was raining, wet and cold. So I told Ethan that he had to wear his rain coat. He usually wants to just wear a zip up sweatshirt and his fleece jacket. But since it was actually raining, I insisted on his slicker. Which, by the way, he looks totally cute in. When I came to pick him up, it wasn't raining anymore, but it was still cold and really wet. His teacher and I got him zipped up in his coat and then it began..."Mommy, it isn't even raining so I don't have to wear this." " I hate this coat." What does he do? He just takes it off. I told him we would not be leaving preschool until he had his coat on because it was cold outside. Still wouldn't do it! We stopped at this bench right by the door and he absolutely refused. I finally said, "ok Ethan I have had enough. If you won't put your coat on then you are in trouble." What does he do? Starts crying. Balling. He is hysterical over having to put his coat on. I am getting kids in the car and friends are walking by asking me what is the matter with Ethan. I tell them and they nod their heads in total understanding. So annoying but oh well.

Well last night as I was IM'ing ( I know that is not really a word but who wants to write it all out?) with Ben and he was telling me that he went to downtown MeS. I asked him what it was like and he said that I would probably cry. The poverty level is so high there. He said that there was a group of little girls about Ethan's age out begging them for money or food. I don't know if it was snowing or not, but he said it has been really cold, and these little girls were out with sandals on. No socks or warm shoes. It makes me sad, that my kids are so spoiled rotten, that they can pick and choose between what coat they want to wear, and then there are kids who are having to beg for money. I asked Ben if he was able to give them anything and he said no. They all swarm if you give something to one and they usually don't have enough to give some to everyone.

I think of Ben over there, trying to train the Afghan army. I know that even though he is bored at times, that what he is doing is for a good cause. It makes me think of that famous line, " you can give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. You can teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." Hopefully when all is said and done, that country will be better off. They can hire people to build suitable buildings and schools. It is sad.

Anyway, those were just my thoughts today. My spoiled rotten babies vs. other kids their ages. It just doesn't seem fair...

Star Wars Party

Well I survived Connor's 4th birthday party. What a crazy day we had! My friend Deborah and I decided to have our boys celebrate their birthdays together. Her son Jonas, turned 4 on the 15th and Connor turns 4 tomorrow. So instead of two different parties, we just decided to have it together. Deobrahs's husband Josh and his parents went a little early and tried to save some tables. I got there at 3 and the place was a complete zoo! The line to get in was long and there were kids everywhere. There was even a policeman from the Sheriff's dept. trying to keep everything under control! Crazy! So we start setting up their Star Wars stuff. Guests just keep coming and coming. Besides siblings we had 18 kids come to this party. Luckily we had almost all of the parents stay to help! We ended up spreading out to 5 tables! Crazy! The kids had a great time. They stuffed themselves with pizza and cake and ice cream. Ran around spending all of their tokens and just had fun. We got everything cleaned up and all the presents to the car. Once we were finally in, I looked at the clock-it was 6:00. We had been there for 3 hours! At least it is over right? Then Ethan starts talking about his birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. So far his guest count is 31 kids. It would take a lot of convincing to do that! I am glad that Connor had fun and that it is over!

Today is Ben's birthday. Turned 28. When I told Harmony that it was his birthday she asked me how old he was. When I told her, she says, " oh my goodness, he is almost 30!" I wish we could be with Ben today. I would hate to be alone on my birthday.

Anyway, my really good friend is moving today. I am so sad. It is hard to be in a place where there is so much military. You are constantly saying good bye to friends. This friend, Melissa, was the first real friend I made out here. I have two close friends who are never leaving Norfolk. Neither are Navy and both are married too men who grew up here. When we started complaining about having to say goodbye, they just said you have no idea how hard it is. They were telling us that over the years they have had to say goodbye to more friends than they can count. They have decided to not make new friends with people who move in because they are just going to have to say goodbye again. :) It is hard. Tonight is going to be a hard night, I know it.

Here are a few pics from connor's party:

Deployment Survival

I found this today and wanted to add it to my blog

Deployment Survival
If you need a break-take one
If you need help-ask
Pancakes are ok for dinner
Mac & cheese is a staple
Boredom is a killer
You only need positive people around
Who needs to watch the news anyway?
Invest in unlimited long distance
Pj's aren't just for sleeping
Someone has to enjoy the deployment pay
read, find a hobby
socialize, connect, exercise
Enjoy the break from daily laundry
Cry if you need too
Sight see- you are stuck here you might as well find something to do
Make the most of every day
Stay positive
Breathe

Happy Valentines Day

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. However, I had a lot of errands to run. So I ignored it and kept on doing my thing. Although I did purchase some day & night quil. Well by last night I had the chills and a fever. I went to bed last night with 2 shirts on, sweats, socks a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up. I had 4 blankets on, including our electric blanket cranked up to 9. I was hoping for it to break but it didn't. I did manage to get the kids off to school, with their Valentines so I consider it a success.

Boy Valentines Day is hard with kids. I got them each a little box of chocolates. However, when do you give them to them? You don't want them eating candy for breakfast, you don't want to give it to them in the morning and then take it away. Harmony thought I didn't get her a Valentine. It is quite the dilemna. We are settling for after dinner.

Tonight we are going to go out with some other Navy widows. There are quite a few of us who are alone today. So we are all going to take our kids out to a restaruant where kids eat free on Tuesdays.Although I am not sure I will be able to get anything down! Oh well, it will be nice to have the company!

Happy Valentines day everyone!

2/11/06

It has been a few days since I have sat down and written. Although I think it would probably have been more, if I was writing in a journal, instead of going online! Today we are so busy. Again. I had lots of people tell me that the best way to get through a deployment is to stay busy, however now it would be nice to slow it down just a little!

Harmony has not been feeling well at all this week. I went to her honor roll assembly and when she walked in, her little eyes were all red. I went over and asked her if she was ok and she said she had just had a rough day. By the time we got home, she was burning up. She had a really high fever. She took a cool bath and went to bed. On Thurs. she woke up feeling "kind of ok". By late morning though she was just laying on her bed half asleep half awake. I had to take her with me to go and pick Ethan up from school and she asked me if she could just please stay at home. She promised that she wouldn't answer the door or the phone and that she wouldn't get out of bed. She made a good argument, and I knew she was feeling so crummy that she probably wouldn't get out of bed but I just couldn't let her. It takes about an hour. I felt bad making her get in the car, but I just couldn't leave her. She is feeling a lot better and is going to go and try cheerleading today.

I got the cutest Valentine yesterday. Etha's class took a field trip to the post office on Thursday. That was the day Harm was sick so I didn't get to go with him. I thought it would have been pretty cool to see the back of the post office. When I picked Ethan up from school his teacher told me to expect something. I got it yesterday and it was cute. He keeps telling us how much he hates Valentines Day. I am not sure where he picked all of his " I hate hugs, I hate kisses, I hate cuddling". Just a boy thing, I guess.

Connor is anxiously waiting for his star wars birthday party. It is a week away. I wish Ben could be here for it. Connor really is Ben's biggest fan. Daddy can do nothing wrong in Connor's eyes. So I wish they were together to celebrate their birthdays together. Such is not the case. I still haven't bought any gifts for him yet. I am pretty much going to look in the Star Wars aisle. I know my friend got him a light saber. He will love that.

Ivan is still doing well in with the big boys. They wake him up a lot earlier than I would like but... it just means an extra nap during the day. So that is nice. Ivan is going to go to Harmony's game today so we will see how he likes that. I think I am going to leave him in the stroller. I don't want to take the chance of him getting trampled on.

The internet is back up so I have Ben able to chat with Ben a lot this week. It makes life so much easier. He gets 30 minutes per week and we use those up the first day. So it is nice to be able to chat with him. He is pretty bored over there. He feels like there isn't enough work for all of them to do. His sister, Amy, told him that "boring is safe" and I agree! He is going to the gym a lot. He looked at a website that had all of the CEC's ( Civil Engineering Corp) who are on IA's like Ben is, and IA is individual augmentation, basically meaning deployed somewhere, and he is marked as returning on June 30th. That would be nice. I would love to have him home by the 4th of July. That way he would have a lot of time to be with the kids over the summer. He said flights out of Afghanistan are not exactly reliable though. We will see.

Anyway, I am babysitting 2 little boys after cheerleading today so I better get some work done. 5 boys under 5? yikes! wish me luck...

Hanging On...

I recieved a lot of emails about my last blog entry. I just wanted everyone to know that I am ok. I am sure I am not the only one who at some point just wants to give in. Being a Navy wife, really is "the toughest job in the Navy". We have to support or husbands and keep up with everything else. It is a hard job and it is tiring. I told our Bishop how stupid I felt for breaking down and crying. He just looked at me and said, " Marie, you have such a heavy load to bear. Your husband is gone and you have 4 kids to take care of by yourself. You have every reason in the world to break down." I am going to attach a poem at the end of this that really makes me think about the role that we all play in supporting the troops.

Anyway onto other subjects, I am upset for Harmony. Last semester, she recieved a B on her report card for her handwriting. She capitalizes when she feels like it basically. So she got marked down. Well this semester we worked really hard on it. She was excited to get her report card because she thought she was going to get A honor roll. There is B, A-B and A honor roll. Well she got her report card and she recieved a B again. She started crying. She was so upset because she had worked hard. Honor roll award ceremony is tomorrow. I know she feels bad but I am sure she will feel better soon.

We had Ivans party last night. He was so cute about eating his cupcake. He just ate the cupcake and then stuck his face into the frosting. He was really cute. He also moved out of our room in with the big boys last night. He seemed happy to be hangin' with the big kids.

Here is the poem:
Got Your Back
I am a small & precious child
my Dad has been sent to fight.
The only place that I'll see his face
is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days
for my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud
My Daddy's got your back.

I am a strong and loving wife,
with a husband soon to go.
There are times that I am terrified,
in a way that most never know.
I bite my lip and force a smile
as I watch my husband pack.
My heart may break, but I am proud
my husband's got your back.

I am a caring father,
my son may go to war.
My mind is filled with worries
that I have never known before.
Everyday I try to keep
my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared but I am proud.
My son has got your back.

I am an American soldier serving proudly
standing tall.
I fight for freedom, yours and mine,
by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing the thanks it
sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I'll come home,
it's me whose got your back.
~author unknown

Hard Day

I knew it was going to happen. I knew it. I just wasn't prepared when it did. Ivan turned a year old yesterday and Ben missed it. We are actually celebrating his birthday on the 6th, and so we had a huge day yesterday. There was just so much going on. By the end of the day I was just exaughsted. From Harmonys first game cheerleading, to a birthday party at an extra crazy Chuck E Cheese, to a major shopping trip to Costco and everything else I was totally spent. I went to bed before 10 and slept soundly! This morning, I got the kids ready for church, had my lesson prepared etc. However, when we got there, the kids were monsters. For the life of me I couldn't get them to be quiet. Harmony and Ethan are usually very well behaved and just sit and color. Not today though. I was taking Connor out, coming back, brining Ivan back it was just ...blah! Then Ivan started screaming. I left the chapel and just took him to an empty classroom and cried. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I waited until I was composed and went back into check on the 3 big kids. There was my friend sitting with the three of them. I turned and walked out to the car and just cried some more. I was so grateful that someone was willing to help me. It was just so sweet of her. When sacrament was over, I just couldn't stop crying. So she took Ivan from me. Well then I felt dumb for crying at church, but whenever one of my friends would ask me what was the matter, the flood gates would just burst again. I just cried and cried. Everyone was so nice and I realized just how good of friends I have. Everyone was so sweet and concerned and the other "Navy widows" just nodded their heads in agreement. I just felt so loved. While I am still crying at the drop of a hat today, I know that I have many shoulders to cry on. I miss Ben. I haven't talked to him for a while and it is really hard.

On a lighter note, I joined the YMCA and we have been going out there almost every day. I go and exercise and the kids go in to the Interactive Playzone or the kids watch. Well the other day we bought all of the stuff for Connor's Star Wars birthday party and Connor just drives me crazy with it. So I told him today that if he doesn't leave it alone, I am going to keep it and use it on my birthday. He said, " do you have a birthday?" I said, "yes, do you think it should be Star Wars?" He said, " no you need to have an excercise party". I am sure everyone would appreciate that! :)

teacher conferences

Well, what a day! Both of the boys had parent teacher conferences this morning. They were glowing reports! The boys are doing so well in school! They are right where they should be or just a little beyond. Ethan and Connor's teachers both said what happy and good little boys they are. Phew. Ms. Skees ( Ethan's teacher) said he is ready for kindergarten. She has even given me a book for him to practice reading! Smart kid! Connor was given the green light to go into the 5 day program that Ethan is in now. I am excited and proud at how well they are doing.

Last semester, Harmony made the B honor roll. However, she has pulled her grades even higher and is now an A honor roll student. I am so proud of her! She has really worked hard on her hand writing so that she would get a better grade. I am just so happy at the process that they are making. Such little smarty pants! I told Ben that they are just like him. He is so smart, that must be where they get it from!

As for Ivan, well he is doing well. He has learned to clap, and climb on the door of the dishwasher when it is open. I am proud of his accomplishments too! Although, the dishwasher thing gets annoying!

Anyway, enough bragging for one day!