Looking at this sweet little face, it breaks my heart that he is having problems. I feel guilty for not noticing the problems earlier. I, however, have not been trained to notice what he has been doing, where as a doctor is. Ben tells me it's not my fault, and in my heart of hearts, I know it's not. I guess I just feel that as the Mother, if something is wrong,it's my fault. Ugh it has been a rough day for emotions. If you are reading this and are thinking, "what on earth is she talking about?" Well here goes...
At Mason's last well baby exam, the doctor was very concerned that he wasn't sitting up yet. He was exactly 7 months old. She tried working with him and she just couldn't get his left leg to rotate. She was trying to spread his legs to give him a wider base, but he just couldn't sit up. I was given a referral to have him checked out by an occupational therapist.
She came yesterday. Mason rolled around on the floor and showed her "his tricks". She watched him for an hour and a half and noted that there was a problem.
1) His left side is a lot weaker than his right. As you grow, you do have a side that is more dominant, usually the one you write with. But as a baby, there shouldn't be a preferance.
2) He drags his left leg when he does his "army man crawl"
3) Although he is moving, he is using rolling as his main source of getting around.
4) He won't go on all fours.
5)He can't sit up.
6) His left eye goes to the side. He is not cross eyed, but one of them looks at his nose more.
7) He reaches for things with his right hand almost every time, and keeps his left in a tight fist. He rarely has his hands open and not in fists.
These are just some of the major things she noticed. Unfortunatley, being so small, he can't say what's going on. So our next step is, after March 10th (when he is exactly 8 months) they will bring 3 specialists to our house. They monitor all sorts of areas of development. Then they will determine how much/if he is delayed. She did tell me that some of these things he should have been doing by 5.5 months.
He also, even though it doesn't have to do with the others, is tongue tied. Because of this he will have speech problems and need to get it clipped.
The red spot on his head? Will probably end up being removed.
Can you see why I feel so guilty? I feel helpless. Kind of like the way I did as we were learning to help Ivan. It's been a long week, what can I say? Prayers and encouraging words are always appreciated!(:
4 comments:
Hang in there Marie! I know it is hard to not blame yourself for these things, but just remember that Mason has a plan just for him, and he will be alright!I'm sure many of us wouldn't have seen the signs this early either--after all, every kid is so different! I can't remember what they are supposed to be doing from one kid to another! I wish there was something I could do for you! Hang in there! You're in my prayers!
Oh Marie! Do not blame yourself....Although....I have been blaming myself a lot latly about not noticing Braxton's speech delay. So in some way....I actually know how you feel. Prayers your way!
Oh sweetie! I am so sorry. Try not to beat yourself up over it...I know it's easier said than done. I think you are an AMAZING mom and I think you have a great family. At least you are concerned enough to listen to the specialists and do what is best for Mason. Hang in there!! Love you!
Marie please take heart. Mason is young enough that physical and occupational therapy he has every chance for excellent progress. Jim mentioned it to his physical therapist today and she said shen they work with kids this young they improve dramatically. By catching it before the brain connections are hardwired, he has an excellent chance for full rehabilitation.
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