Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Two weeks ago...
It was exactly two weeks ago that I was piling all the kids in the car, to head out to Ivan's appt. To be honest...I still don't think I have quite come to terms with everything. The word autism is like a ticker that just keeps running through my mind. My child...with autism? No, no it can't be.
I have cried a lot of tears, I have read a lot of books, I have read a lot of websites. I have prayed. I have been researching. I keep saying the word over and over. I have told almost all my friends, as if saying the diagnosis out loud will finally make it feel real.
There is so much info out there that it is overwhelming. And there are times that I look at Ivan, and think no my child is normal. There is nothing wrong with him. And I will be brought back to reality. My reality. Every day with Ivan...is a completely different day. One day he will be fine with the transition from breakfast to getting dressed to running an errand. The next he will be in the corner, with his hands over his face, breathing heavy and avoiding everyone. One day, he will be fine with the McQueen cup the next day he won't. One day, he will respond to his name. The next he won't.
I feel like there is so much work left to be done.
I have had so many people ask me if there is anything they can do. The answer...so far anyway...is not really. You can let me talk, and not get frustrated if I cry, you can let me vent. If you find a good gluten free product, you can send it to us. ( I would be happy to reimburse). If you find a great book or article or story or video on autism you can send it to me. But most of all, what we really need is love, support and understanding. And we have already been given those three in abundance. And I am grateful for all of our family and friends who have stood by us. We love you!
**I realize that this probably doesn't make very much sense. Sorry, just getting my thoughts out!**