I don't really talk to much about my religion/faith on here. I guess I just find that crazy things my kids do to be more interesting! :) But I am going to share something with you. Now I realize that not all of you who read this are Mormon. So you can feel free to skip this post....
When I found out I was pregnant, I was very happy& excited. But also racked with guilt. At the time, Ivan had hardly been in school and we were still struggling with how to help him. He had a lot of struggles at the time. I felt guilty because I kept wondering how could I give to another child, when my other 4 are not getting all that they need? Then of course, bring on the morning sickness and I really wasn't good to anyone! :)
So while I was feeling physically & emotionally..."spent" I still had a lot of things on my plate. Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, church, babysitting, not to mention that it was the holidays! ( Apparently I forgot to send my Mom a family picture in her Christmas card...at least she got one I guess!)I felt a huge burden.
For a while now I have been talking about clearing my schedule and how busy we are. But I honestly didn't know what to do about it. Maybe because "I" was trying to figure it out. I want to be the best Mom & wife that I can be, but I knew that I was failing miserably. I prayed. And I prayed. I was emotional, tired, frustrated etc.
I am so grateful that even though I don't have all the answers, I can pray to someone who does! Today I recieved a call from Ivan's teacher. He has made such huge strides, that he will now only be recieving two days of services. His speech therapy has been completely stopped because they feel that he doesn't have a problem with language at all. He is making such progress. He has also been declared "not severe enough" to need summer school. He is now only in school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Leaving me 3 days during the week to get all those things done that I have been slacking on. That I have needed help on...that I struggled with.
I have had a lot of experiences with the Lord answering my prayers. However this time it just means so much more. I was wondering why I got pregnant if I couldn't handle it. Now I know that when we follow the Lord and do what he asks, we will be blessed. He will make sure that we are getting what we need.
7 comments:
I'm so glad that you put that up on your blog. It's wonderful how HE works huh? You may not always "get it" but it all makes sense in the end. I have similar concerns with my girls/life. I have also been greatly blessed with help and insight.
Thank you for sharing that. I needed it!
I'm glad you're feeling better about things. When do you find out the sex of this baby??? I'm dying to know.
you are right. when you give up trying to do it all yourself, you realize you don't have to. so happy for your family:)
I'm glad you got an answer to your prayers, it's funny how Heavenly Father helps to make things possible that you couldn't have seen happening!
BTW don't you find out what that baby is soon??
Glad it is working out better! We have been there too. Blakely was a HUGE surprise! (Bryce had 2- yes 2- vasectomy's and I STILL managed to get prego) But it has been amazing to me to see how it has all worked out and she does belong in our family. I am glad HF knows better than us what we need. Good luck- I'm praying for you too!
I'm glad you feel better. I felt guilty about my pregnancy right up until I had the baby. But things are so much better than I expected. Now I'm wodering what I was so worried about. i hope all goes well! Cathy Cardon Hanson
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